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6/18/2010
Lewis: Life with(out) father
Fatherhood. It’s a concept we don’t hear about all that frequently, at least positively, in our society. And yet it is a paramount theme in Scripture: God the Father, God’s instructions for fathers, admonitions for children to obey their fathers, the joys and pains of fatherhood, the relationship between the Father and the Son. Like the institution of marriage, fatherhood was designed by God and illustrates a unique aspect of His character.
Sadly, more and more children and young adults today have no earthly concept of fatherhood – or have one that is absolutely contrary to biblical fatherhood. Thus the concept of the heavenly Father is lost on them. Why is that? For the past 50 years, a sexual revolution sparked by “The Pill” has nearly destroyed the already weakening American family and stolen the birthright of a mother and a father from the more than 40% of children in this nation who are born out of wedlock. These children grow up without a father’s love and protection and the boys, in particular, miss out on an example of fatherhood.
What can we do for these precious children who have no father?
Depending on where you live, there are many opportunities for you to get involved in helping fatherless children – Boys and Girls clubs, Vacation Bible School, Sunday School, sports clubs, prison ministries. But don’t worry, if you don’t have something like that in your area – you can start it! Or you can find an organization or church that is reaching out to the fatherless and support it with your prayers and finances. You don’t even need an organization – find a young person in your church or your community who needs a father image and get involved.
In addition, we must make sure our state policies do not create an environment where fatherlessness is encouraged. Think about it, our divorce laws, marriage laws and welfare laws contribute to fatherlessness!
Thanks to the vote of our citizens in 2006, the Wisconsin Constitution defines marriage as the union of one man and one woman. But we must continue to shore up and promote marriage in our state, and reject counterfeits that are most definitely not in the best interests of children.
For instance, we have no-fault, no-contest divorce in this state. No-fault divorce allows one spouse to allege that his/her marriage is “irretrievably broken” or has “irreconcilable differences” and the marriage is terminated – just like that. And since Wisconsin also has no-contest divorce, the other spouse can do absolutely nothing to stop the spouse seeking the divorce from obtaining it.
That’s why Wisconsin Family Council would like to modify the law regarding couples with minor children where there are no grounds for fault – that is, no adultery, abuse or abandonment. Where there were no such grounds for fault, both spouses would have to agree to the divorce and to the details of the divorce.
All of us Wisconsinites must hold parents accountable for the welfare of their children. And the social science data, to say nothing of common sense, says that on all the wellbeing indicators, children raised by a married mother and father, fare the best by far.
There is just no replacement for dad, and though we wish every child could experience the benefits of a loving, involved dad, we know that is not the reality. But let’s make sure we’re not creating policies that purposely deny children a father, encourage fatherlessness or make it unduly difficult for a father to be involved in his child’s life.
So while we work to spread the Gospel and strengthen and preserve marriage and family in Wisconsin, let’s make sure we recognize the dads who are there for their families, providing for them and loving them. Theirs is not an easy job at any time, but it’s especially difficult in a challenging economy and in a society where fathers are marginalized and where men are constantly beset with temptations of all kinds. We are indeed grateful for the men – for the fathers – who are fighting the good fight, who are active participants in their children’s lives. To all of you, Happy Father’s Day!
Amy Lewis is the Director of Research, Writing and Media for Wisconsin Family Action, Madison.
COMMENTS
Last paragraph nearly brought me to tears. Thank you for sharing this, Jo.
Andrew Ellis (Fri Jun 18 08:50:44 2010)
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